Attempted Humor rewrite of Warriors, TNP midnight
by Silvy-oh-Graystripe's homie
Summary: Brambleclaw, or shall we call him Brambo, has a fan club of shecats? Spottedleaf is obsessed with Firestar! Bluestar is the only smart one in StarClan? Tawnypelt.. well nevermind. I attempted to make Midnight funny.
1. Prologue

**This is my story! yay! Read onn**

**All of my chapters are being revised By Dewfrost, so they should be better spelled and grammar-ized and such. Plus, she's added a few pretty funny additions to each entry, so i suggest you read on again!**

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Everybody, come here!" a voice bellowed over the still pond. Instantly, **the **shapes of starry cats appeared,** gathering around a blue-gray she-cat in the middle of the group.** When **they all** had assembled around her, the blue cat meowed.

"We have seen a new prophecy! Darkness, air, water and sky will come together, and shake the forest to its roots. What shall we do about it?" The cats around her murmered to each other at these words.

"Bluestar," meowed a dark cat. "I say we go for pizza!"

A few cats called out in agreement.

"How can you think about your stomach at a time like this, Deadfoot?" Bluestar hissed.

"We go for pizza every Wednesday. If that's not good enough for you, I advise you go pad in some other bunch of stars!" Deadfoot rolled his eyes.

"I think we should pick some kitties from the clans to fulfill the prophecy!" another voice suggested.

"Good idea. Any objections?" Bluestar mewed.

No one replied.

"Okay then, we pick kitties! I mean cats."

Suddenly, a voice burst into song: "Go Oakheart! Go Oakheart! He' the best! He's the best! If he can't think of an idea...no one can! GOOOO Oak-"

"We have no time for cheering sessions, Stonefur," Spottedleaf mewed coolly. Her voice changed. "We have to see how Firestar is! I must know how he is. Come on, if anyone deserves a cheering session, it's him." Her voice faded dreamily.

Bluestar shook her head sadly. "To the pooool!" She yowled. "Here is my choice for ThunderClan!"

All the cats leaned forward to the starry pond to take a gander at Bluestar's chosen cat.

"That one, Bluestar?" Oakheart cried in surprise.

"Yes, that one!" Bluestar retorted.

"But, it's an elder," Someone pointed out. Bluestar whipped her head around to the pool. "Oh. oops." She changed the cat in the water, and then cleared her throat. "Look again!"

All the cats looked into the pond. A dark tabby was crouched in the grass, ready to hunt. The cats looked at each other before magically pulling out index cards with numbers on them.

"I give Brambleclaw a 9!" Whitestorm called, holding his number. Bluestar nodded and turned to a black cat named Nightstar, who yowled, "I give him a 7!" Bluestar turned to the last cat, Stonefur. "10!" Stonefur called, and Bluestar raised a critical eyebrow at her son's enthusiasm.

"What?" he mumbled. "I like writing the zero with the one next to it! It's so fun!"

Bluestar rolled her eyes before letting Crookedstar step forward to bring forth his own cat. "See and approve my choice for RiverClan!"

In the clear water was an image of a beautiful silver she-cat. All the cats, the toms in particular, mewed their agreement.

"Feathertaaail," Oakheart mewed. "Soooo pretty." Seeing Bluestar's scandalized look, he mewed quickly."But you are the prettiest, Bluestar! Really, I mean, those eyes! Wow! How could any tom ever-"

Nightstar cut him off by padding up to the pool. "ShadowClan's cat shall be her!"

Once again, the assembled cats turned their gazes to the water. "Tawnypelt?" Yellowfang said uncertantly. "She's Brambleclaw's brother!"

"So?" Nightstar asked.

Yellowfang nodded. "True," she muttered.

"I can't think of anything to say about her, lets move on." Oakheart called.

"I know," agreed Spottedleaf. "I mean, it's like the authors are purposely ignoring her or something."

Deadfoot stepped forward. "I choose, this cat!" This time, when the cats looked, they all gasped.

"Oh my LionClan," Spottedleaf murmered. "Crowpaw could compete with Firestar!"

All the she-cats yowled their approval, and the toms did too because they wanted the she-cats to like them. Deadfoot was surprised that he had gotten away with choosing an apprentice so easily.

"I guess eni meni miny moe does work!" He thought happily to himself.

"We shall visit these cats in dreams, and inform them of their task!" Bluestar caterwauled to the cats of StarClan. The cats began to disperse, and Bluestar saw Spottedleaf crouched alone at the bank of the pool.

Thinking she might be doing something constructive, Bluestar joined her. She sighed in annoyance when she saw Spottedleaf going through the pictures of Firestar: Firestar catching a mouse, Firestar fighting Tigerclaw, Firestar in the Bahamas, Firestar killing Scourage, and finally, Firestar visiting his kits in the nursery, kits that were not Spottedleaf's.

"Curse that Sandstorm!" Spottedleaf muttered. "Why did I ever give him my blessing with her?"

"SPOTTEDLEAF!" yowled Bluestar. Spottedleaf whipped around. "I wasn't doing anything, Bluestar!"

Bluestar shook her head yet again, leaving Spottedleaf with her Firestar slideshows.


	2. Chapter 1

**Once again, Edited and revised by Dewfrost! Do continue**

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"Brambo, come over here," Bluestar ordered Brambleclaw. He stepped forward, surprised not only because his former leader was appearing to him, but also because he had called him 'Brambo.'

When Brambleclaw had reached Bluestar, she reeled off what she had appeared to him.

"A new and dreadful prophecy had arisen. You are one of the chosen, yada yada yada, same old story. Meet three other cats on the half moon and do as midnight tells you. Okay? Okay." She finished quickly, and turned on her tail to leave. "Maybe I'll make it back before Deadfoot eats all the pizza..."

"Wait!" Brambo called. "Aren't you supposed to tell me something else?"

Bluestar looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Oh yeah!" She mewed, memory flooding into her eyes. "Spottedleaf is out of Firestar slide shows, and asked me to ask you if you could make a few memories of him so she could come in the night and steal them. She clawed me until I promised I'd ask."

Brambleclaw nodded, though this wasn't what he had been expecting.

"Okay, bye then!" Bluestar meowed brightly. "Oh, and you didn't have anything bad to eat. You'll consider in the morning. Dont listen to yourself. And FYI, no one wants to hear you doubt yourself and be all emotional. It's rather sad."

Brambleclaw dipped his head yet again, for this was true. Bluestar finally prowled away towards her pizza, fading like dew in the early morning.

That was when Brambleclaw decided to wake up. He found some shadowy forms above him, one that he recognized as Sorreltail. "He's sooo cute when he sleeps," she mewed dreamily to her compainion, who Brambleclaw managed to make out as Whitepaw.

"He's awake!" she squealed, and the two she-cats scampered away from the warriors den, giggling. Brambleclaw sighed; He had become used to the fan girls by now. He pulled himself upright to groom his dark tabby fur.

"How do you DO that?" Brackenfur exclaimed, sitting up. He had been awake long enough to witness the appearance of the Brambleclaw's stalkers.

Brambleclaw shrugged. "Work out, I guess," he replied. "You know, look strong and fit and all that."

Brackenfur thought for a moment.

"Do you think Sorreltail would like me more if I tried a tough guy image?"

Brambleclaw faught hard to stifle a snort of laughter. Brackenfur? Tough guy? Now _that_ would be funny. Brackenfur was too...Brackenfur-ey to be tough.

Controlling his voice, he advised " No, I wouldn't try it." Brackenfur looked disappointed, and padded out of the den. Brambleclaw was one of the last warriors left in his nest. Blinking sleep from his eyes, he stepped into the sunlit ThunderClan clearing.

"Brambleclaw," a voice beckoned him. He turned around to see Cloudtail, flanked by his mate Brightheart. "Thornclaw wants you to go on a patrol with him." Brambleclaw nodded, glad he wasn't going with any of the she-cats who belonged to his fan club. It was rather hard to hunt with them giggling all the time.

Brambleclaw saw Thornclaw by the fresh-kill pile, picking out a particularly tasty vole. The prey was plentiful and plump- it was the height of greenleaf, after all.

Brambleclaw padded over. Thornclaw spotted him and meowed, "Ready to go?"

"Holy StarClan!" Thornclaw exclaimed a little while later on the patrol, deep in the forest. "A badger! Kill it Brambleclaw, KILL it!" He danced up and down on his paws. "Oh ew, ew, what if it has rabies? What if it BITES me? EEEEK!"

Brambleclaw threw a look at the older warrior. "You cant KILL a badger, Thornclaw. It will kill US."

Thornclaw's eyes widened, then he shook himself. "Too right you are!" he mewed with apparant confidence, but Brambleclaw could still tell his voice was faltering. The badger swung near them.

"Like oh my gosh!" A voice squealed. "I'll like, so totally save you!" Brambleclaw felt his jaw drop and he whipped around to see Squirrelpaw. He groaned inwardly. Squirrelpaw was one of the only she-cats in clan who didn't belong to the Brambleclaw Club. The only other ones without a mate already were Cinderpelt and Squirrelpaw's sister Leafpaw- and that was only because they were medicine cats.

So why should he groan? The reason was simple: Squirrelpaw was a hyper, fast talking, preppy, annoying, she-cat. And to Brambleclaw's displeasure, he found himself attracted to her insane insanity.

And so Firestar's daughter flew in front of Brambleclaw, growling at the badger. "Dude, back off!" She mewed in that high pitched voice that Brambleclaw dreaded and cherished at the same time. His annoyance took over and he meowed importantly, "Squirrelpaw! Get away from it!"

The badger had advanced on the orange apprentice. Thornclaw had hidden under a bush, still squealing, "Squish it Brambleclaw, SQUISH it!"

Brambleclaw simply lifted Squirrelpaw from the ground and carried her a little ways away. The badger had already forgotten what it was doing, so it loped away to sniff some roses, a rather stupid action has it would result in the inbedding of rose thorns in its nose.

"Like oh my Starclan, Brambo, you didn't have to like, drag me over here!" Squirrelpaw fumed from in the undergrowth. Thornclaw was sitting quietly, thrilled at his narrow escape that hadn't been so narrow. Seeing that Thornclaw wasn't going to act as the senior warrior this time, Brambleclaw retorted, "What were you doing here by yourself, anyway?"

Squirrelpaw rolled her eyes and answered. "Like, Dustpelt was totally with his beloved Ferncloud- they are like, _so _into each other it's not even funny- and couldn't take me for training, so I decided to go with you guys!"

Brambleclaw hissed at her before going to the spot where he had buried a catch and retrieving it.

"Let's get back to camp," Thornclaw intervened, finally regaining composure. Brambleclaw pretended that Thornclaw had reacted normally to the badger. Squirrelpaw, however, was not being so kind.

"Like, who am I?" She teased. "Oh my gosh SAVE ME! its a big mean badger- ahhhhh!" Thornclaw ignored her, so she made faces behind his back.

When they arrived at camp, everyone was in a frenzy. "Where's Squirrelpaw?" Firestar panicked. Rushing around, he checked the apprentice's den. Brambleclaw saw him lift a small rock and peer under, mewing, "Squirrelpaw, are you in there?"

Brambleclaw rushed to his leader's side, deciding to tell him about the badger later- though he needn't have worried about it, as the badger was currently hiding in the forest, whining about the thorns in its nose.

"Squirrelpaw followed us," he murmered to ThunderClan's leader. "She snuck up on us on patrol."

Firestar looked relieved, then angry. "Rawr!" He yowled, racing over to Squirrelpaw, who had begun to slink away towards the medicine cat den, probably to talk to her sister, Leafpaw.

She stopped abruptly, knowing she had been caught red- pawed. Brambleclaw couldn't quite hear their conversation, except for the part where Firestar forbade her from going to the Gathering that night. Squirrelpaw didn't seem too happy about that one. She stormed into the medicine cats' den.

Brambleclaw sighed, lucky he had gotten away without punishment for not taking quicker action with Squirrelpaw. At least, not yet. He sighed before dropping his prey at the fresh kill pile. He was dimly aware of Frostfur and Mousefur gazing at him and mewing quietly together before he padded off to eat.

"_No. _For the last time, I'm _not _giving out autographs."


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 ... Leafpaw's point of view.for now  
Leafpaw listened with intrest to Squirrelpaw's story. ".. I mean really. To who does this punishment belong!" She snarled. Leafpaw immedatly blurted out;

"You mean to WHOM does this punishment belong, not to who. That's not proper grammar," Squirrelpaw gave her a look of utmost disgust.Leafpaw cringed.

She had done it again; Leafpaw always somehow had the urge to correct others, and it made her seem like a smart alleck  
Squirrelpaw's face softened.

"Awh, its like, totally okay Leafey dude," She cooed. Leafpaw bit down hard on her tongue to refrain from changing Squirrelpaw's whole sentence. Dude? Totally?

And did she have to use 'like' every other word? Leafpaw forgot these thoughts.  
Cinderpelt, The ThunderClan medicine cat and Leafpaw's mentor, strode into the den.

"Firestar is calling for hte cats attendin' the Gatherin' at Fourtrees with the other Clans. You're a-coming Leafpaw,"  
Leafpaw nodded at her mentor's words, not meeting Squirrelpaws eyes. Leafpaw's sister decided to take it easy today.

"Like, I think im gunna go eat with the other peeps not goin' to the Gatherin'. See yah Leafey dude," Squirrelpaw mewoed, before touching her nose to her sister's and padding out into the camp.

"Lets go find the res' o' everyone gettin' ready to leave"  
Leafpaw nodded again, though she hated being surrounded by cats who refused to use proper grammar.

In the camp, the party going to the Gathering was all ready too leave. Firestar spotted Cinderpelt and Leafpaw, and signaled for htem to hurry. When they neared the group, the party started off at a swift pace into the forest.

The full moon was begining to rise in the sky, casting eerie light to fall on the forest ground. Leafpaw could feel Squirrelpaw's angry emotions at being left at home. Leafpaw felt guilt wash over her for her sister.

Leafpaw turned her gaze to the head of the party. Brambleclaw was going at a fast run, being followed by the newly named Sorreltail and whitepaw the apprentice. A/n-i skipped sorreltails naming. too lazy to do it.

Cinderpelt followed her gaze and chuckled softly. "Can' you belive Brambleclaw's fan club?"She paused to laugh wryly. "I could never have a tom,even if i wasn' a med' kitty,"

Leafpaw smiled. "That's not true!" She mewed."You've got nice eyes the color of the blue sky," It al came pouring out of her.  
"Which by the way is blue because of the ocean. Did you know the world is covered more then 3/4 by water? And that most of it is salthingyer?"

Cinderpelt shook her head, making hte least out of Leafpaw's random statement as she could. Leafpaw sighed. She didnt know why or how she knew this information, and it was rather a bother to know so much.

Up ahead, Firestar had paused at the top of hte hill to Fourtrees. By the scent of things, Leafpaw could tell that all the other clans were there already. Firestar flicked his tail, and the ThunderClan cats surged down the slope.

still chappy 2.brambo's point of view

Brambleclaw watched Firestar sprint down the hill, making a memory that he would soon foget when spottedleaf came to him and stole it for her slide show collection.  
When he arrived at the hollow of the FourTrees, Brambleclaw looked around for osmeone to talk to. Maybe someone eho ate the bad mouse and had a dream too! He thought.  
I think they chose hte wrong cat. His mind said. Suddenly he remembered that no one wants to hear his emotional self doubts, and he told his mind to shut up.

"Hey Brambleclaw!" A voice sounded from somehwere to Brambleclaw's left. Or was it his right? Oh forget it. Anyway, He turned to his left and or right and saw Graystripe, the ThunderClan deputy padding towards him, followed by two other cats who smelled of RiverClan. Brambleclaw faught his urge to spit.

"These cats are Stormfur and Feathertail," Graystripe introduced him. "And this is brambleclaw," he said for the otehr cats benefit. "My lil kittiesss," He cooed, nuzzling their faces. Stormfur, the gray tom who looked jsut like his fatehr, smiled and nodded, trying to ignore his embarassing father. Feathertail, a beautiful silver tabby purred "Hi brambleclaw"

As brambleclaw looked at Feathertail, he wouldn't have minded her being part of his Fan Girl club. "Hi feathertail, Stormfur," He greeted the two cats.

After some casual converstion, Graystripe dismissed Brambleclaw. He padded towards a group of cats that included Thornclaw and a WindClan cat named Onewhisker.

"Heeyy, Sorreltail," A deep voice said from somwhere behind Brambleclaw. He recognized the voice faintly, so he looked around to see who it was. He almost snorted out loud when he saw Brackenfur, obviously trying out his tough guy image.

"Yeah, so today I was hunting, and I was attacked by 2 badgers! One might have been the one that killed willowpelt. So i slashed like TigerClan cat and sent them both running for cover.

Not a scratch on me." He told in that fake, deep voice. Even where brambleclaw watched from a distance, he could tell that Brackenfur had puffed his chest out to make him look stronger.

"Wanna come hunting some-" Brackenfur started. That was when Sorreltail noticed Brambleclaw. Crap.

"Uh.. right right.." Sorreltail mewed, unintrested. She didn't say good bye to brackenfur as she started towards Brambleclaw. Brambleclaw slunk away, feeling guily that Sorreltail had seen him and left Brackenfur, but mostly he felt he would burst into silent fits of laughter if he didn't get away fast. 

A yowl sounded from atop the Great Rock. The four leaders stood there, ready to start the Gathering. Tallstar spoke first. He was getting on in age, and his voice weezed.

"Windclan is-" he began to cough violently. "Winclan is very-" this time he was interrupeted by The RiverCLan leader.  
"Very stupid?" Lepardstar finsihed Tallstar's sentence. Inveloped in her own joke, she began to roll around on the Great Rock, laughing so hard the other cats thought she would expload.  
There was silence in the clearing. "Is she on crack?" Someone murmred.

In front of brambleclaw, a ShadowClan queen bent over to an apprentice.   
"Now that is why we stay away from the river," She mewed. "It messes with people's brains," The apprentice, a young tom, nodded solemly.  
Leopardstar had regained her composure now, and was satanding again.

Tallstar had recovered as well, and began to speak.  
"THe twolegs have changed the course of the stream in WIndClan territory. With the lack of rain this Greenleaf, WindClan has nothing, to drink," Suddenly his voice became strong. "NADA! ZIP! ZERO! ZILCHO! THE BIG GOOSE EGG! UNDERSTAND?"  
Silence.

"In conclusion," He mewed in his normal tone. "We ask RiverClan to drink from the river. okay? okay?" Leopardstar's joke was far behind her now. "Nooo wayyy dude who is tall. We keep river. Ours. not yours. Ours!"  
"preeeettty please?"  
"No."  
Pretty PRETTY please?"  
"no."  
Pretty please with Mousey on top?"  
"No"  
"Pretty please with mousey AND squireely on top?"  
"Okay."  
Pretty pleeaa-"  
"I said okay!"  
"Oh"

The WindClan leader, satisfied with his victory, stepped back, making a face like so D at his warriors. Leopardstar had more to say. "RiverClan has a new medicince cat apprentice, Mothwing," She mewed hurridly.

"Okay we're done. Lets go RiverClan." Trying to get away in a hurry,Leopardstar made to jump off the GreatRock.  
"Ho ho hoolld it!" Blackstar, the ShadowClan leader, hissed menaingly, sounding like SantaClause on Christmas Eve when he recieves the news that Rudpolph has quit the reindeer business to follow his dream and become a clown.

"Mothwing? The LONER? Medicine cat?" At this, the hollow below broke into mews of speculation. Brambleclaw looked around to see the cat who was obviously Mothwing, a beautiful golden she-cat. Brambleclaw thought regretfully how all hte really pretty cats were in other clans.

"Yes, me!" Mothwing hissed, and her mentor, Mudfur sitting beside her, looked appaled. "Shhutt upp," He hummed in her ear. Firestar's yowl called out.

"If mothwing blows up the forest then we can all complain. For right now, there is no fire or flame, so we're allll good," Everyone mumbled in agreement.  
Blackstar meowed. "Something is happening in ShadowClan territory. Either Twolegs are destroying it or Tawnypelt is eating it. W're not sure." 

Brambleclaw saw his sister, Tawnpelt, lick her jaws, maybe considering the idea of eating ShadowClan territory. She was a very hungry cat, after all.

She ate so much, that it all went to her paws, and she had received the Biggest Paws awards for 8 Moons running. In fact, they had cancled the contest because no one could beat her.

"ThunderClan is fine. We still like pie. We demand you bring us pie whenever you see us. That is all. Have a nice moon," And with that, Firestar leaped from the Highrock.


	4. Chapter 3

**Also edited by Dewfrost, as with the other chapters. this one has a few better jokes, so go ahead!**

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**Chapter 3**

Leafpaw listened with intrest to Squirrelpaw's story. ".. I mean really. To who does this punishment belong? Not me!" She snarled.

Leafpaw titled her head to one side and blurted out, "You mean: to_ whom _does this punishment belong. _To who does this punishment belong _is not proper grammar."

Squirrelpaw gave her a look of utmost disgust. Leafpaw cringed. She had done it again. What was it with her overwhelming urge to corrct others and be all goody-goody and smart? Leafpaw had the tingling desire to do something really bad once. Run away with a cat from another Clan...no, that was crazy.

Squirrelpaw's face softened.

"Aw, its like, totally okay Leafey dude," she cooed. Leafpaw bit down hard on her tongue to refrain from changing Squirrelpaw's whole sentence. Dude? Totally? And did she have to use 'like' every other word?

Cinderpelt, The ThunderClan medicine cat and Leafpaw's mentor, strode into the den. "Firestar is calling for the cats attendin' the Gatherin' at Fourtrees with the other Clans. You're a-coming Leafpaw,"

Leafpaw nodded at her mentor's words, not meeting Squirrelpaw's eyes. Leafpaw's sister decided to take it easy today. "Like, I think I'm gonna go eat with the other peeps not goin' to the Gatherin'. See yah Leafey dude," she meowed, before touching her nose to her sister's and padding out into the camp.

"Lets go find the res' o' everyone gettin' ready to leave," Cinderpelt suggested, chewing on a piece of grass.

Leafpaw nodded again, though she hated being surrounded by cats who refused to use proper grammar.

In the camp, the party going to the Gathering was all ready too leave. Firestar spotted Cinderpelt and Leafpaw, and signaled for them to hurry. When they neared the group, the party started off at a swift pace into the forest. The full moon was beginning to rise in the sky, casting eerie light to fall on the forest floor. Leafpaw could feel Squirrelpaw's angry emotions at being left at home. Leafpaw felt guilt wash over her for her sister.

Leafpaw turned her gaze to the head of the party. Brambleclaw was going at a fast run, being followed by the newly named Sorreltail and Whitepaw the apprentice. **(A/N-I skipped Sorreltails naming. too lazy to do it.)**

Cinderpelt followed her gaze and chuckled softly. "Can' you belive Brambleclaw's fan club?"She paused to laugh wryly. "I could never have a tom- even if i wasn' a med' kitty."

Leafpaw smiled. "That's not true!" She mewed."You've got nice eyes. Sky-blue, Cinderpelt, they're very pretty." It all came pouring out of her. "Which by the way is blue because of the ocean. Did you know that over three-quarters of the world is covered by water? And that most of it is salt water?"

Cinderpelt shook her head, her typical response to Leafpaw's random statements. Leafpaw sighed. She didnt know why or how she knew this information, and it was rather a bother to know so much.

Up ahead, Firestar had paused at the top of the hill to Fourtrees. By the scent of things, Leafpaw could tell that all the other clans were there already. Firestar flicked his tail, and the ThunderClan cats surged down the slope.

still chappy 2.brambo's point of view

Brambleclaw watched Firestar sprint down the hill. He made a note to himself- that he would soon forget- to mark that as a memory for Spottedleaf's Firestar slideshows.

When he arrived at the hollow of the Fourtrees, Brambleclaw looked around for someone to talk to. _Maybe someone else ate a bad mouse and had a weird dream, _he thought.

_Maybe they chose the wrong cat. I'm stupid, I'm hopeless, I'm just like my father..._Suddenly he remembered Bluestar's warning about his dull self-doubts, and mentally told himself to shut up.

"Hey Brambleclaw!" A voice sounded from somewhere to Brambleclaw's left. Or maybe right he was too stupid and just like his father to know which...never mind. He turned to his left- or right- and saw Graystripe, the ThunderClan deputy padding towards him, followed by two other cats who smelled of RiverClan. Brambleclaw faught his urge to spit. _Ew! Fish!_

"These cats are Stormfur and Feathertail," Graystripe introduced him. "And this is Brambleclaw," he said for the other cats' benefit. Speaking to Brambleclaw, he cooed, "My lil kittiesss," and nuzzled their faces. Stormfur, the gray tom who looked just like his father, smiled and nodded, trying to ignore his embarassing father. Feathertail, a beautiful silver tabby, purred, "Hi, Brambleclaw."

As Brambleclaw looked at Feathertail, he noted that he wouldn't have minded her being part of his Fan Girl club. "Hi Feathertail, Stormfur," He greeted them.

Their casual conversation continued, and then Brambelclaw tried to make his move. "Hey, you should talk to Sorreltail. She runs this club...I think they have really cool buttons too-"

"Bye, Brambleclaw," Graystripe broke in, knowing exactly what he was doing. Brambleclaw gave up and padded away, towards a group of cats that included Thornclaw and a WindClan cat named Onewhisker.

"Heeyy, Sorreltail," a deep voice said from somwhere behind Brambleclaw. He recognized the voice faintly, so he looked around to see who it was. He almost snorted out loud when he saw Brackenfur, obviously trying out his tough guy image.

"Yeah, so today I was hunting...you know how it is. And I was attacked by two badgers! One might have been the one that killed Willowpelt- that thing was huge, man, huge! So I slashed like a TigerClan cat and sent them both running for cover. Not a scratch on me." He told his story in that fake, deep voice. Even from where Brambleclaw watched from a distance, he could tell that Brackenfur had puffed his chest out to make him look stronger.

"Wanna come hunting some-" Brackenfur started to go on. That was when Sorreltail noticed Brambleclaw, who quickly tried to dive behind a ShadowClan tom, who growled, "You got issues, dude?" and moved aside, leaving Sorreltail a clear view of him.

"Uh.. right right..." the tortoiseshell mewed to Brackenfur, uninterested. She didn't say good-bye to Brackenfur, instead just started towards Brambleclaw. Brambleclaw slunk carefully away, feeling guily that Sorreltail had seen him and left Brackenfur. But mostly he left because he didn't want Brackenfur to see him burst into silent fits of laughter.

A yowl sounded from atop the Great Rock, saving Brambleclaw from Sorreltail. The four leaders stood there, ready to start the Gathering. Tallstar spoke first. He was getting on in age, and his voice wheezed.

"Windclan is-" he began to cough violently. "Winclan is very-" this time he was interrupeted by The RiverClan leader.

"Stupid?" Lepardstar suggested. Wrapped up in her own joke, she began to roll around on the Great Rock, laughing so hard the other cats began to fear she may implode.

There was silence in the clearing, except for the rather undignified snorts of Leopardstar.

"Is she on crack?" someone murmured.

In front of Brambleclaw, a ShadowClan queen bent over to an apprentice.

"Now that is why we stay away from the river," she mewed sternly. "It messes with people's brains."

The apprentice, a young tom, nodded solemnly.

Leopardstar had regained her composure now, and was standing again. Tallstar had recovered as well, and began to speak.

"The Twolegs have changed the course of the stream in WindClan territory. With the lack of rain this greenleaf, WindClan has nothing to drink." Suddenly his voice became strong. "NADA! ZIP! ZERO! ZILCHO! THE BIG GOOSE EGG! UNDERSTAND? WE ARE WATERLESS! WE ARE GOING TO _DIE! _AND THEN WE ARE GOING TO COME BACK AND HAUNT YOU! THAT'S RIGHT!"

Silence.

"In conclusion," He mewed in his normal tone, "We ask RiverClan to drink from the river. Okay?"

Leopardstar's joke was far behind her now. "No way dude who is tall. We keep river. Ours. Not yours, tall dude. Ours!"

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty PRETTY please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with Mousey on top?"

"No"

"Pretty please with mousey AND squirrely on top?"

"No."

"Pretty please with mousey annd squirrely and this thing I found behind my ear this morning on top?"

"No."

"You know what, Leopardstar? YOUR MOM!"

Leopardstar gasped, and then meowed, "Okay."

"WE WILL HAUNT-"

"I said okay!"

"Oh."

The WindClan leader, satisfied with his victory, stepped back. "OH YEAH! OWNED!"

Leopardstar had a bit more to say. "RiverClan has a new medicince cat apprentice, Mothwing," she mewed hurriedly. "Okay we're done. Lets go RiverClan." Trying to get away quickly, Leopardstar made to jump off the Great Rock.

"Ho ho hoolld it!" Blackstar, the ShadowClan leader, hissed menacingly. He sounded like Santa Claus on Christmas Eve when he recieves the news that Rudolph has quit the reindeer business to follow his dream and become a clown and learn how to drive one of those tiny cars.

"Mothwing? The LONER? Medicine cat?" At this, the hollow below broke into mews of speculation. Brambleclaw looked around to see the cat who was obviously Mothwing, a beautiful golden she-cat. Brambleclaw thought regretfully how all the really pretty cats were in other Clans. Maybe he could slip her one of Sorreltail's Brambleclaw FanGirl Club cards...

"Yes, me!" Mothwing hissed, and her mentor, Mudfur sitting beside her, looked appalled. "Shut. Up," he hummed in her ear.

Firestar's yowl called out. "If Mothwing blows up the forest and sets a plague of evil pwning flesh-eating rats upon us, then we can all complain. For right now, there is no fire, flame, rats, or pwning, so we're allll good."

Everyone mumbled in agreement.

Blackstar meowed. "Something is happening in ShadowClan territory. Either Twolegs are destroying it or Tawnypelt is eating it. W're not sure."

Brambleclaw saw his sister, Tawnpelt, lick her jaws, maybe considering the idea of eating ShadowClan territory. She was a very hungry cat, after all. And she liked the little frogs that leaped across it.

"ThunderClan is fine. We still like pie. We demand you bring us pie whenever you see us. Preferably cherry, but, you know, I won't say no to pecan either. That is all. Have a nice moon." And with that, Firestar leaped from the Highrock.


	5. Chapter 4

**Edited version of Chapter 4!**

Squirrelpaw bounced through the forest behind Dustpelt towards the RiverClan border. She snorted when she saw that the WindClan cats were drinking from the river. Mistyfoot, the RiverClan deputy, was watching them closely closely.

_Ooh, mousey,_ Squirrelpaw thought, smelling the prey in the air. She yanked her from the sight away from the border, and turned around to see Brambleclaw. He was following her slowly, his tail dragging.

"_Everyone knows I'm in over my head_," Brambleclaw sang mournfully, _"..over my head... 8 seconds left in_-"

"Oh stop being, like, such a drama kitty, Brambleclaw!" Squirrelpaw chirped. Brambleclaw quieted down, probably, Squirrelpaw suspected, in hopes that she would shut up in return.

"Speaking of drama" Dustpelt meowed, "I scent trouble!"

Squirrelpaw turned away from the mouse scent to gaze through the tall grass. Indeed, there was trouble. Squirrelpaw perked her ears in interest. A gray black shape leaped out of the undergrowth, in pursuit of the mouse that Squirrelpaw had scented.

"My mousey!" Squirrelpaw screeched, throwing herself upon the cat who had trespassed. She heard Brambleclaw hiss at her. Dustpelt looked a little uncomfortable "Squirrelpaw I really think that-"

"Would you let me do what I want for like, 5 minutes, at least! SHEESH!"

"You know what? Sure. And after this, I'll go buy you that pony you've been bugging Firestar for lately. What the heck is a pony anyway?"

"Yo, fool!" Crowpaw spat, flashing gang signs at her. "Like you'll eva' beat me, chickee! Me, Crowpaw a WindGang! We'll rip ya!"

"Like, first of all," Squirrelpaw hissed back, "I don't even know what you said. And second, even if I like, did, I would still kick your butt!"

"Crowpaw, how many times do I have to tell you?" A voice called, and the next second a WindClan tom named Onewhisker was prying Crowpaw away from Squirrelpaw. "It's Wind_Clan,_ not WindGang!"

"Aw! Like, come on!" whined Squirrelpaw. She felt eviler then usual. "I was just giving our homie Crowpaw here a butt whooping."

"Forget Crowpaw's butt! I'm more interested in their mouths, since they're holding ThunderClan prey!" Dustpelt hissed. He seemed to have stopped wondering about ponies.

"Yeah!" Squirrelpaw agreed menacingly, whipping around to face Crowpaw again. "Like, what up with that?"

"Yo!" Crowpaw exclaimed. "Why turn to me first, girlee? Why ya thinkin' that it all my fault?"

Dustpelt, Squirrelpaw, Brambleclaw, and Onewhisker stood with their paws fixed to the ground, watching the two young cats face off.

"For the sake of mice and fleas, Crowpaw would you please stop trying to be a gangster?" The voice of Webfoot, another WindClan cat growled as he strolled out of the tall grass. Webfoot bent over and simply plucked Crowpaw out from the leaves.

"Yo, fool! What up with that?" Crowpaw caterwauled, before leaping away.

They sat quietly for a few moments.

"So, did you guys hear the Pussy Cat Dolls are coming to Fourtrees?" Onewhisker inquired.

**(A/n i needed a band.. and hey! pussy cat dolls!) **

Squirrelpaw's jaw dropped further down to her paws now.

"NA-UH!" she sreeched.

"I said they were."

"NO WAY!"

"Yeah.."

"like, OH MY GOSH! I havee to ask Daddy if I can get tickets."

"But I heard they cost a billion mice!"

"So what, Daddy's rich! He a a yacht!"

"What's a _yacht_?" Brambleclaw piped up.

"Who cares! I heard it on T.V once."

Dustpelt was starting to get annoyed, Squirrelpaw could tell.

"Let's end this little party here," he meowed, glaring at the remaining WindClan cats. "And Squirrelpaw, you're not going to see the Kitty Cat Toys."

"It's Pussy Cat dolls, and no one understands me!" Squirrelpaw fumed, and sped for home.

brambleclaw POV!

"Huh," Webfoot snorted. "Rebellious teens these days. They assume no one else gets it."

Onewhisker nodded solemly in agreement. Brambleclaw wondered if one of the Pussy Cat Dolls would join his fan club. He figured they were in that "Hollywood Clan" that he had heard Longtail complain about to Frostfur not too long ago.

"Uh hello, you're allowed to go to RiverClan to drink, but this is still ThunderClan territory!" Dustpelt exclaimed suddenly. "We're supposed to be mad. We'll chase you off."

"Yeah, right."

"We're bigger than you."

Silence.

"We've got eggs."

Chaos.

"Did you hear him?" Onewhisker yowled. "They've got _eggs! _HAUL TAIL!"

"Foiled again!" Webfoot hissed,.

"Once I find my overly dramatic gangsta wanna be apprentice, I bet I'll be back!"

"Poached or boiled?" Brambleclaw snarled.

"Going!" Webfoot squeaked, and with that he too raced away

**Do you like the New Crowpaw? It's hard to please everybody.. and more said they didn't like him than they did. So review and inform me!**


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer;No.. i dont own warriors.**

**Yay Dewfrost! Yay Edit! Yay read!**

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Brambleclaw prowled through ThunderClan territory that night, feeling slightly like a felon. The stars shone brightly, but the moon didn't, seeing as it was a new moon. He wished it wasn't, because since it was so dark he kept running into stuff, which was totally ruining his felon image.

He replayed the previous night in his mind. Brambleclaw had dragged himself into his den late that night. He had just slipped out of ShadowClan territory and back home after a visit with his overeater of a sister. He had tried to tell her to meet him at the new moon at Fourtrees, for the dream from Bluestar had been bugging him.They just hoped to StarClan that the other chosen two cats would come.

And now, as he padded through the tall grass, dried from the lack of no rain in the hot greenleaf, Brambleclaw was especially nervous. It didn't help that he stood on a nettle stem and yowled so loudly that a squirrel threw an acorn at him.

Finally, the big oaks of FourTrees came into view. Brambleclaw raced down the slope to the Great Rock, praising himself for throwing off his constant she-cat stalkers. All the same he took a quick whiff of the air to make sure no one had followed him.

"Brambleclaw!" A voice hissed. Immediately assuming an ambush of ThunderClan she-cats, Brambleclaw whipped around. "I'm not Brambleclaw! I.. I'm Tigerstar resurrected. Run in fear! Um...yeah...RAWR!"

Then whoever it was spoke. "I'm hungry."

Oh.

Tawnypelt raised an eyebrow.

"Edgy today," she observed.

"And rightfully so!" Brambleclaw retorted. "Sorreltail nearly had me signing her forehead today..." He shivered at the memory.

"What?"

"Oh, nevermind."

Casual conversation broke as two more cats crept towards the siblings.

Brambleclaw recognized Graystripe's kits, Stormfur and Feathertail. Brambleclaw stood a little straighter when he saw the beautiful tabby. He wished that he had brought some of Sorreltail's Brambleclaw Club cards.

"Brambleclaw! Did you have the dream too?" Feahtertail breathed excitedly.

"Yes."

He noticed the form of Feathertail's brother, Stormfur. "Did you have it too?"

"No," Stormfur meowed. "I just wouldn't let Feathertail come alone."

Brambleclaw nodded in understanding, just as a gray figure came lumbering down the hill.

"You!" Brambleclaw hissed. "That wanna be gangsta who tried to terrorize ThunderClan with your...ganster-ey antics!"

"Yo! Got a problem wit' that?" Crowpaw from WindClan asked.

"So what if I do?"

"I've got spray paint."

"What are we gonna do about this dream?" Tawnypelt meowed over the threats.

"I think we should wait until midnight. And then Feathertail can help me paint Thunda'Gang red, if you know what I mean."

Everyone raised an eyebrow at Crowpaw.

"Forget him!" Tawnypelt mewed decicevly. "Look, it is midnight and nothing-"

Tawnypelt was cut off by a wave of yelling, screaming, and other sounds of Twoleg enjoyment. Brambleclaw whipped around and let out a yelp. The Pussycat Dolls. Live at Fourtrees. He remembered Onewhisker's words.

Twolegs everywhere. But if you looked close enough, Brambleclaw noticed, you could also see a number of cats. The first one he noticed was the fiery orange pelt of Squirrelpaw. The apprentice was bobbing her head around to some song that was about glue, Brambleclaw assumed, because it used the word "Stick" a lot. She spotted him at the same time he spotted her. Squirrelpaw bounced over to him and the others. Brambleclaw glanced at his companions, who were standing rooted to the spot, clearly terrified.

**SQUIRRELY'S POV!**

Squrrelpaw was shocked to see Brambleclaw.

_Wait till I tell his fan club he likes the Pussycat Dolls_, she thought evilly. _Hee._

Strangely, he was with Feathertail, Stormfur, Tawnypelt and...Crowpaw.

"RAWR!" Squirrelpaw yowled, throwing herself at Crowpaw.

"NO!" Brambleclaw called, jumping in her way.

"Like, leave me alone Brambo, im trying to tear someone into shreds!"

"I noticed!"

"Yo, bring it, yo!" Crowpaw growled, leaping around. "Let the bird at me, dude. I'll knock her out."

"Like, you totally wanna make a gangsterized bet on that, tough guy?"

"Dude!" Crowpaw eepped. "I.. gotta go...um..." And then he raced away.

Squirrelpaw was satisfied now, but Brambleclaw warned her, "He probably went to go get his spray paint."

"Brambleclaw, this is useless. Come to the next Gathering," Feathertail decided.

"Yeah, we're outta here," Stormfur agreed.

"But what about Crowpaw?" Tawnypelt piped up.

"We'll tell him when he comes to drink," Stormfur mewed, with a tone of anger.

And with that the cats departed.

"And tell him to drop the gangsta next time!" Tawnypelt growled.

Squirrelpaw turned around to yap something mean at Brambleclaw, but she couldn't find him. "Brambleclaw? Brambleclaw! Like, where are you, furball?"

She figured he had gone back to camp or soemthing. So she lost herself in the music of the Pussycat Dolls.

Dawn was arriving. Squirrelpaw was about to return home, for she was the last one at Fourtrees, having fallen asleep in the middle of the PussyCat Dolls concert. She downed some tic-tacs so know one would know what she'd been doing.

Strangly, she heard a loud purring. She shook her head, almost sure she was imagining it. Okay, so she wasn't. Squirrelpaw followed the purring. She wanted to purr like that too.

It led her behind a big curtain of the stage. She knew this was called "backstage". Or at least that's what Google had told her when she looked up the name of stage areas on it. She assumed it was right. It wasn't the Number 1 search engine for nothing, right?

Squirrelpaw's jaw dropped again, like it did when she was feeling evil or confused. She hated confusion. She made a mental note that when she had achieved world domination, confusion would be the first person on her termination list.

But anyway, what Squirrelpaw beheld was most certaintly the source of the purring. Brambleclaw was sitting in the lap of one of a blonde Twoleg, being rubbed and petted by the two legs long fingernails. Squirrelpaw made a face that suggested she would puke.

Obviously, Brambleclaw had hooked up with the band. The PussyCat Dolls were there. Stroking Brambleclaw.

Squirrelpaw really wanted to take pictures and post them on her blog.

"So where are you from?" One of the blonde singers asked mischeviosly. Brambleclaw just purred again.

Squirrelpaw didn't want to purr anymore. She just wanted a turkey leg. And she wanted a digital camera. And a pony. Her blog was calling. She blinked when there was a flash in the room. The PussyCat Dolls had covered the picture problem with their digital camera. Score.

Squirrelpaw coughed to let Brambleclaw know she was there.

"Will you wait one second, Sorreltail? I'm busy," Brambleclaw murmered.

"You wish I was Sorreltail! Your fan club would be finished now, that's for sure!"

Brambleclaw snapped to reality. The girls took more pictures. Brambleclaw, no matter how embarassed he was, stretched up to lick the nearest band member's face. She squeaked. Brambleclaw leaped.

The twolegs murmered a few things to Brambleclaw, who blushed beneath his fur, forgetting that Squirrelpaw was there. Again.

So she coughed. Again.

Brambleclaw remembered, and he leaped away. "Bye, kitty!" The band called. Brambleclaw couldn't make himself look at Squirrelpaw, he just raced away. Squirrelpaw snorted. Then she remembered the camera. How she needed that camera. It was so close..

Forgetting proper manners...well, Squirrelpaw had no manners to forget, so she just leaped onto the piece of wood with legs and took the camera. The girls shrieked, but what did Squirrelpaw care? She was already thinking of captions to put under the pictures.


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer; If i ever stand on a street corner and scream "I own the Warrior's Series!" THen you can arrest me**.

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Leafpaw awoke from sleep with a start. She had sensed Squirrelpaw, running down a familiar trail...the trail to Fourtrees! There was loud music, perhaps a song about tape, and then insane laughter. Why was she laughing so much? Oh.. Brambleclaw was there. But why the laughter? Oh no.. had Brambleclaw tried his Twinkle Twinkle Little Star interpretive dance again?

Shoving the thoughts away to a corner of her big mind, Leafpaw shook each paw in turn and padded out of her den. She bumped right into Squirrelpaw, who seemed...a little too much like herself. It was rather like being surrounded by Brambleclaw's fangirls when he was around- smiling and giggling. It was rather frightening.

"Like, Hi Leaf-" She tried to meow, but she broke off into a storm of laughter. Leafpaw raised an eyebrow.

"Where were you last night?" she meowed, cutting to the chase.

"I...Firestar sent me out for some...bananas! Yeah, bananas! And then Dustpelt told me to get some eggs to scare WindClan away..."

Leafpaw wanted to roll her eyes, but because she was the one with the manners, she held back. "If you say so, Squirrelpaw."

Her orange sister nodded and ran off somewhere.

"Leafpa', " came the voice of Cinderpelt, probably still in the den. "We oughta go 'n fin' them there herbs 'fore it gits too hot today."

"Of course Cinderpelt!" Leafpaw answered. She started towards the fresh-kill pile, with the intentions of eating before starting the day. She grabbed a vole, and was just tucking in when the idea- er, horror- came to her mind. She had sensed that Squirrelpaw was at Fourtrees, in the middle of the night, and Brambleclaw was there too.

"Ohhhmyyygossshh," Leafpaw gasped to herself, sounding a little like Squirrelpaw and actually forgetting the importance of grammar. That's how serious the situation was.

Had Squirrelpaw been sneaking off to Fourtrees...to meet Brambleclaw? And were they...

**Brambleclaw's POV**

Brambleclaw watched in horror as Squirrelpaw pulled up her blog webpage.

"Where did you get that computer anyway?" he gapsed.

"I know some people who know some people who rob some Twolegs," Squirrelpaw replied easily. Brambleclaw nodded in understanding.

"Welcome, Squirrely," A computerized voice said. Brambleclaw took a gander at Squirrelpaw's blog. There was her name, Squirrely. Though it was written as:

**"S q U I r R e L y 3"**

There was a picture of her sticking her tongue out at the unfortunate blog reader, who was in this case Brambleclaw.

"I'll be right back," Squirrelpaw mewed evilly. "Do NOT, like, touch anything!" She scampered to the apprentice den.

Brambleclaw whistled an innocent tune, for he was in fact, innocent. Right? He dipped his head down to, innocently glance at Squirrelpaw's webpage.

There was a contact box.

**Status: Single but hating **

**Age: 9 moons **

**Location: ThunderClan Camp (directions to secret camp; turn right at the large bush shaped like Elvis Presely. Knock on the apprentice den door and ask for Squirrelpaw)**

Brambleclaw gasped. How dare she give out directions to the Thunderclan camp! And the bush that Brambleclaw had carefully shaped was supposed to be Abraham Lincoln! Not Elvis Presely.

Grunting, he read on to the All About Me section:

**Like, HI! Im squirrely, and im orange. I totally live with ThunderClan (directions below) I love to meet new dudes. Wanna know more? Aim-SquirrelsCANfly123**

Brambleclaw heard Squirrelpaw return, so he straightened up. She scrolled down on the screen to show a new section of her blog.

"Embarrassing pictures of the ThunderClan morons"

There was a picture of Whitepaw stuck in a bramble bush, one of Cloudtail braiding his long white hair, one of Graystripe helping Cloudtail braid his hair, and one of Spiderpaw with his face orange and a crumpled bag of Cheetos lying next to him.

"Okay, so looky here, Brambo," Squirrelpaw hissed. "This camera contains this picture of you, being cuddled with and petted by a bunch of Twoleg girls. If you don't tell me what you were doing last night, I will give you your own spot on my little wall of fame here. And then, you know, accidentally forward it to my whole address book."

"You have an address book? Who's on it?" Brambleclaw demanded.

"Oh,"Squirrelpaw mewed mischievously. "Just Blackstar, Mothwing, Tawnypelt, Onewhisker, Shadepelt, Runnin-"

Brambleclaw couldn't take it any more. "Okay! Just stop and I'll tell you!"

Squirrelpaw smiled that evil smile of hers, which she had quite possibly learned from Sandstorm.

"Go on."

Brambleclaw went on to tell her about his dream with Bluestar, the prophecy, his meeting with his sister, and the arrangement at Fourtrees that had been spoiled. Squirrelpaw looked rather taken aback, as if she hadn't suspected this.

"Promise to tell me any new updates about this stuff?" She mewed eagerly. She sounded genuinely excited.

"Well..." Brambleclaw hesitated.

"The Morons' section is calling me! And I'll tell Daddy." Squirrelpaw smirked.

"Okay, okay, fine!" Brambleclaw had to give in.

"Good, very good," Squirrelpaw meowed briskly. "I shall save this for another time I need to torture something out of you."

Brambleclaw made a mental note to never owe anything to Squirrelpaw ever again


	8. A short note

**Oookaaayy. Dewfrost is doing me a huge favor by editing my chapters. And because a few people didn't like Crowpaw's character.. he went through a little... metamorpasis,. shall we call it. **

**So I'm getting my chapters edited..I have Chapter 7 written and ready to go, but i want it to be revised first so that there's no more grammar/spelling errors. I think we shall all appreciate that. **

**So you might wanna go read some of the other chaps again (up to chapter 4 is edited now). theres a few new good jokes . And especally Chapter 4 because of Crowpaw's attitude/character change.**


	9. Chapter 7

**Darn it Ravenpelt, you could be right! Crowpaw would ahve been a beter goth then he was a shakespearian actor OR gangsta. oh well.**

**Chapter 7**

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"Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw have been spendin' time with each other lately," Cinderpelt mewed to Leafpaw as they padded through the forest in search of herbs.

Leafpaw mumbled something in reply, still worried of her assumption. She went over it in her mind one more time.

Alone. Fourtrees. Brambleclaw. Squirrelpaw. In lo-

"I think we could find some a 'dat burdock root a little ways past here," Cinderpelt mewed lazily. She was chewing on a toothpick. Where did she get toothpicks from, anyway? And the hay? And the cowboy hats?

She said it was all from a place called Texas, but Leafpaw had no idea what Texas was. Cinderpelt said it was nice. She said there were a lot of tumbleweeds, and her best friend had been a squirrel named Puffy. But then, Cinderpelt also said that best form of exercise was chewing on stuff. Leafpool made a mental note to never go to Texas.

Suddenly, Cinderpelt spit out her toothpick.

"Jumping palamino ponies! I bit down too 'ard and the toothpick a-caught on fire!" she gasped. Leafpaw watched in horror as the flaming toothpick spread to some brambles and dry leaves on the forest floor.

Cinderpelt watched the fire, her eyes growing wider and wider as if she were seeing some intresting documentary on southern cowboys who lived their lives as Burger King workers in disguise. All Leafpaw saw was a danger to society, and a major letdown to poor Smokey the Bear.

"Only you can prevent forest fires," Leafpaw chided to her mentor.

Cinderpelt ignored her and continued to stare.

"Leafpa', come quickly, we must go see Firesta' !" She exclaimed running off the best she could on her injured leg. Leafpaw followed at her heels, wondering what about undercover Burger King employees could be so important. Or maybe it was Smokey she was worried about.

They passed the Great Sycamore, the Owl Tree, that bush shaped like Elvis (or was it Abraham Lincoln?) before the two finally reached camp. Cinderpelt didn't stop her lumbering gait untill she reached the mouth of Firestar's cave.

"Firesta' Suuuu-eeee!" Cinderpelt called out.

"Come in!" came Firestar's confident reply. Cinderpelt motioned to Leafpaw that it was alright to follow. Firestar was seated in his den, staring blankly at a bunch of bar graphs and schedules. Sandstorm was there, and she was probably trying to help him get through it.

The bar graph was labeled:

**"Hunting patrols for Tomorrow (September 23, Twoleg Time)"**

Her mother and father paused from the papers to smile warmly at their daughter. Leafpaw smiled back and mewed a greeting. Cinderpelt, however, cut right to the chase.

"I was with Leafpa' in the woods, and a fire started," Cinderpelt began to explain. Leafpaw noticed that her mentor left out exactly how the fire had started. Firestar leaned into his pie, which today was Key Lime, (his favorite) intrigued by Cinderpelt's story.

"And in the fire, I sa'.." She paused. Silently Leafpaw willed Cinderpelt to continue.

"Saw what!" Firestar pressed her, mumbling through his pie.

"I sa'.. Tigersta'. Resurrected. It was just a shadow. But he was being chased by-"

"Smokey the Bear?" Leafpaw guessed, figuring that the great character was appearing to warn Cinderpelt about her carelessness in regards to toothpicks.

"No," Cinderpelt snapped. Firestar looked antagonized with suspense.

"Tigerstar resurrected was being chased by a giant pie," Cinderpelt finally spat out.

"What kind?" Firestar asked her seriously, as if this question was the question to end all questions.

"That's not the point!" Cinderpelt mewed exasperatedly. Leafpaw noticed she had forgotten about her southern accent in the excitement.

"It's a prophecy. I saw it in fire. Fire is supposed to destroy all, like it destroyed the bracken. Tigerstar, being chased by a pie. It's a sign. Tigerstar, meaning tiger, and the pie.. well actually that was something random that the author threw in becuase she was craving a pie. The fire part actually means fire. So, Fire and Tiger..together.. shall destroy," Cinderpelt finished firmly. Firestar looked very serious for a very long time.

"Well.." He meowed finally. "I am too old, creaky, and pie-filled to be in another prophecy. And Tigerstar.. well, he's dead."

Sandstorm finally spoke up. "Perhaps.. it means.. Firestar's daughter.. and Tigerstar's son?"

Everyone seemed to consider this. Leafpaw thought it was possible.. considering that she thought Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw were in lo-

"Destroy? The only thing destroying anything is the Twolegs. You should see the edge of ShadowClan territory! It's horrible! They could come here at any moment," Firestar reminded his mate.

"That is true...but could we take the chance? It was a sign sent to me from StarClan," Cinderpelt murmered quietly.

Firestar was quiet for a long time again. Actually, when he started being quiet it was sunhigh, and the sun was begining to set when Sandstorm poked him roughly. "Poookkee," She whispered mischeviosly, as though it were a private joke.

Firestar grinned at her and then snapped to life. He spoke.

"Then you are right. It cannot be Leafpaw, for she is a medicine cat and too obsessed about grammar. It must mean Squirrelpaw," Leafpaw's stomach twisted, feeling dread for her sister.

"We shall keep Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw away from each other. They will not help the Twolegs eat our home!"

He paused.

"Though Tawnypelt might want to help..."

Firestar shook his head before gripping the sophisticated looking fountain pen between his claws (only Clan leaders were allowed to learn how to write) and scribbling a new title on the top of a new sheet of paper. Leafpaw craned her neck and saw that the new paper read;

**"Things To Tell Squirrelpaw To Do When I Spot Her Too Close To The One Whose Claw Is Bramble-ey"**

He looked back up at the medicine cats. "You may leave." He dismissed them. Cinderpelt nodded and padded out. Leafpaw heard Firestar ask Sandstorm something like,

"Do you think she would believe me if I told her I needed a new batch of muffins?"

Leafpaw shook her head, not wanting to hear her mother's reply. She was anxious for her sister. What would she think? What would she do?

And worst of all, what would become of the forest if Tawnypelt, DID want to help the Twolegs eat the forest?

She tried to shake these thoughts away as she padded off to the fresh kill pile, and then later helped Cinderpelt as best as she could when Speckletail and Dappletail both came into the den, complaining about achoign joints. Cinderpelt gave them a poultice, and then, apparently remembering her southern accent, called after them:

"Now, y'all come back now, y'hear?"


	10. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! thanks for all the reviews! ANd sorry for hte long wait. serious writers block. Well, I tried. thanks again dewfrost! Im going to camp from the 6 (tomorrow) to the 11 (friday) and wont be back till.. then. enjoy my absence! (and i need an opinion on a stroy im writing about tigerstar. Should i write one chapter, about just his lives (which i already did) or a bunch of chapters as one stroy about Tiger's POV in dangerous path and darkest hour?**

**Okay, read away!**

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**Chapter 8 (right?)**

**Brambo point of view!**

Brambleclaw padded out of the warriors den, blinking sleep from his eyes. He saw Squirrelpaw speaking to Dustpelt, but then she saw him and rushed over, obviously eager for news on the prophecy.

By the leader's den, where Firestar was conversing with Graystipe, Brambleclaw heard Firestar gasp.

"NOOO!" he yowled, throwing his pie at an indignant looking Graystripe and cannoning himself at Brambleclaw and his daughter. Graystripe followed, placidly licking something sticky from his face.

"Brambleclaw, I think to save yourself from sharing a creamy fate similar to mine, you should take these tickets to the elders' latest story and go," Graystripe meowed in an undertone. Squirrelpaw glanced at Brambleclaw. He interpreted the look to mean that she was either going to put a picture of Graystripe's pied face up on her blog, or she was confused. Possibly both.

"Ugh, where are the tickets?" Brambeclaw asked, though he had absolutely no idea why he wasn't out actually doing warrior duties.

Graystripe licked some pie off his face.

"Argh!" the gray deputy retched. "Firestar, how many times do I have to tell you that pecan pie is gross!"

Firestar ignored his friend. "Brambleclaw, I'm sure the elders will let you listen to their story without tickets. Now quick! Before they start!" Firestar mewed quickly, beckoning him to hurry.

"Okay okay!" Brambleclaw gave in, loping off towards the elder's den. He heard Graystripe growl after him, "I mean, switch it up a little every once in a while! How about a blueberry one? Or...I know! Coconut cream!"

When Brambleclaw finally reached the elders' den, Dappletail and Speckletail had already started. Shrewpaw ws the only other audience member, but he looked a littly creepily intrigued and interested in the story.

"Welcome! Ladies and gentleman, mice and voles...to the greatest show on earth!" Speckletail boomed.

"Ya da da da da da da da da da da ya da da da da da da da da da. dum dum dum dum. dum dum dum dum," Dappletail hummed the circus tune.

"Crackerjacks! Get your crackerjacks here!" Frostfur was calling, a box of carmelized popcorn sitting at her snowy white paws. Brambleclaw made himself comfortable; this could take a while.

Speckletail and Dappletail ducked behind a rather large cardboard box, which had appeared out of nowhere. They each raised a paw. However, each paw sported a different color sock. When Brambleclaw recognized which color each sock was, he groaned inwardly. He had to come and watch the day they told the story of his father's treachery. _Great. Just great._

The paw wearing a dark brown sock with amber googly eyes was swaying violently back and forth. "I am Tigerstar! Leader of TigerClan! Hear me roar!" You could tell it was Speckletail's voice, mostly because she kept laughing. At first she didn't notice that one of the googly eyes had fallen off. Then she just sat there.

"Right. I have lost my eye! Oh no!"

Shrewpaw clung to these words as if his life depended on it, his brown fur fluffed up.

Dappletail raised her paw up further. It was sporting a bright orange sock, with green googly eyes. "And I am Firestar! Leader of ThunderClan! You're evil plots stop now! Be goooonee!"

Brambleclaw stifled a yawn. He was really tired. He had been up all night trying to figure out Crowpaw's gangsta language so he could yell at the dark gray apprentice in a tongue he would understand.

Just when Scourge was introduced to the story, Brambleclaw felt his eyes begin to droop.

"...You promised us the forest and free Blockbuster rentals for a year," Scourge's sock, now taking the place of Firestar's, mewed quietly. "And your puny forest Blockbuster doesnt have that movie about the pirate who drinks too much rum, which is the only movie we wanted to see!"

Brambleclaw couldn't stifle his yawns now. They came and went freely.

He must have fallen asleep just before Tigerstar's death. In his dreams, he couldn't remeber any dramatic circus death scences.

Suddenly, the dream about the dancing crackerjack was interrupted by a salty scent. And then Brambleclaw felt himself falling, falling, into eternity. No, not eternity. Just a whole load of water. Wait, water? Brambleclaw thrashed around; he hated water. He felt his flanks heaving.

He fought to keep his head above the crashing waves. He gazed feverantly around him and the first thing he noticed were the craggy cliffs and the caves surrounding the waves that tried to drown him. Suddenly, a blinding orange light flodded across the water, and Brambleclaw gasped as he realized that the sun was drowning in the water too! Where was the dancing crackerjack now? Brambeclaw wanted to eat again before he died and all he could taste was seafood! Sea food tasted so weird. So fishy. But cats liked fish. Someone needed to tell the authors that before they started going on about how gross the RiverClan cats were again.

A soft voice murmered in his ear, "Take heed, Brambo."

"Bluestar! Help!" Brambleclaw yowled before he felt the waves engulf him. Desperately he called out, "If I drown, Spottedleaf's slideshows are going to get wet!"

He awoke in surprise to find himself in a small pit just outside the elders den. He felt a dead weight hanging arond his neck. His averted his eyes to see what it was a realized it was a large piece of wood attached to a chain which now hung from his neck.

The piece of wood read (in sloppy paint):

I am a bad insert gender here. I have broken the rules of the Story Telling Audince Guide (STAG) And I was punished.

Please see the STAG, written, published, and illustrated by Speckletail elder.

Brambleclaw rolled his eyes. The elders must have noticed that he fell asleep. Then he remembered his terrifying dream. The sun had been drowning! but then, so had he. It seemed as though Bluestar had wanted him to have this dream. To understand it.

His thoughts broke when he saw Frostfur creeping up towards him.

"I'll tell the other elders you had to be let out for a hunting patrol," she murmered. "If you sign my tail."

Brambleclaw shook his head. What was wrong with this place?

"Fine," He grumbled. "Wait a second, Frostfur I can't write, only the leaders know how." Frostfur didn't care. "Then just scribble."

Rolling his eyes again, he grasped the pen that had been dropped down to him between his teeth and leaped out from the pit. He touched the point of the pen to Frostfur's tail, and drew a few lines.

"Okay there you go. Bye!" He mewed hasitly, before racing off. His first instinct was to tell Firestar about the dream. But something told him that he shouldn't. Brambleclaw knew that the latest dream was some how connect to his original dream, with Bluestar in the clearing.

He skided to a halt outside his leader's den, surprised to see a sleek black cat speaking to his leader.

What did Ravenpaw the loner need? Brambleclaw was close enough to hear the last of the conversation.

"But Firestar! The Twolegs! They were there! And I was there! And Barley was there! They are trying to build a new Thunderpath! They will destory your whole territory!" He stood on his back paws to demonstrate.

"Puny kitties! You are no match for my pretty bulldozer. Prepare to be bulldozer-ed!" He acted out with a sort of Ahnold (A/n . heh) accent. "BZZZZZ!"

Firestar did not seem bothered by his friend's worries.

"Ravenpaw, I'm sure we have nothing to worry about. But keep me posted!" The ThunderClan leader meowed to Ravenpaw as the loner trotted towards the gorse tunnel to leave.

"Listen Firestar! I'm positve of what I saw. As in one billion percent sure. As in there is no doubt about it sure, as in the you will eat a mouse for dinner tonight positive. As in-"

Leafpaw, who happened to be walking by just then, commented, "There is no such thing as one billion percent."

Firestar shook his head. "Alright Ravenpaw. I will tell my patrols to keep their eyes open."

Ravenpaw nodded, though clearly he still looked unsettled. Firestar licked his friend's ear before begining to pad back to his den. Brambleclaw suddenly decided to confide in the unstable loner. If anything, he could take comfort in the fact that he was not as paranoid as Ravenpaw.

He rushed over, and Ravenpaw seemed to know what was wrong.

"My pyschic powers tell me something troubles you." Ravenpaw mewed mystically. Brambleclaw nodded in amazement. "Tell me all about your dream where your drowning with the sun."

Brambleclaw gasped. How could Ravenpaw know? He stared, unblinking, at the black cat seated before him.

"A few cats have spent the night in my barn, and they have spoken about the sun-drown place. It is past our barn, past Highstones, and over many mountains and other terrain, as they say. Maybe StarClan wants you to go there?" The black loner meowed, still sounding unlike himself.

Brambleclaw pricked his ears, wondering if perhaps he was right.

"And maybe this is a journey to make without the support of your leader, no matter how much that support might mean to you."

Seeing Brambleclaw's bemused expresssion, Ravenpaw added. "Trust in your heart, Brambo."

Ravenpaw dipped his head to him before padding into the forest.

In his shock, Brambleclaw realized that he had just carried out a whole conversation without saying a word. Turning around, still not blinking aand deciding that he would go and get some more crackerjacks, Brambleclaw decided he would learn to talk like Ravenpaw. That way, the next time he had a conversation with Squirrelpaw, she wouldn't be able to say a word either.

**reviews, as always, are appreciated.**


	11. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer-I only own the screwed up personalities.**

hey guys! sorry i took so long. i'm suffering from seerrious writer's block. so, i tried with this chapter. we leave with our heroes preparing to go off on their dangerous, toxicly random journey. **Thanks to dewfrost for editing!**

**Chapter 9.**

Emerging from the warriors den the next morning, Brambleclaw decided not to tell Squirrelpaw about the newest dream. The apprentice's blog didn't bother him so much anymore...who actually read that thing, anyway? Although...he had seen Shrewpaw laughing rather evilly yesterday. Had Squirrelpaw gotten pictures of Graystripe's pied face after all? A shudder ran down his spine.

_As long as she has a modem, no one is safe._

Brambleclaw spotted Leafpaw sitting beside Cinderpelt, mixing herbs. Cinderpelt was kicking back, a piece of grass in her mouth. She had a reminiscent look on her face. Brambleclaw figured that she was probably thinking about Pexas. What is this "Pexsas"? To Brambleclaw it sounded like the name of that Greek god's flying horse, but he couldn't be sure.

But something was worring Brambleclaw more then Squirrelpaw's computer skills or Cinderpelt's homeland. The dream he had had yesterday was the most important thing. Once again, he didn't know weather or not to tell Squirrelpaw about it.

Just as he was about to go gather up a hunting patrol, he saw Brackenfur coming towards him. The golden brown tom looked troubled. "No matter how hard I try, Sorreltail doesn't seem to notice me!" He wailed, his tail drooping in defeat.

Brambleclaw felt a stab of pity for the warrior; Obvsiouly his tough guy routine hadn't worked. Maybe he should try something more like a ninja. _Or...oh! How about a mailman!_

Brambleclaw shook his head to clear it. _A mailman? _He had to settle on the real problem now: What in the world did the word "fo shizzle" mean. Crowpaw had said it, and Brambleclaw was determined to figure out every word of his gangsta language.

_Wait! The hunting patrol! Get on with it already! _He yelled at himself.

"Ugh, Sootfur, Cloudtail, Brightheart, Spiderpaw! Wanna come on a patrol with me?" He called to the nearest group of his Clanmates. They mewed in assent and padded over.

"Like hey, have you guys tried these Cheetoes? They're pretty amazing." Spiderpaw chirped. "I mean really, the way they bake in the flavor, it's like...WOW!"

As the leggy black apprentice approached, Brambleclaw could see that he dragged along with him a bright orange bag, and a delicate shade of orange cheese powder covered his nose and muzzle.

"The mice will see you coming a mile away, with your new orange outfit," Cloudtail sniffed.

Spiderpaw went into a stage of what appeared to be intense thought, his amber eyes glazed over. Finally he decided on:

"Shut up, Cloudtail!"

Cloudtail opened his mouth, sure to comment on Spiderpaw's poor comebacks, when someone else decked out in orange stopped by to antagonize the group.

"Oh! A follow up to my last picture!" Squirrelpaw cackled. She pulled her camera out from nowhere and aimed it at Spiderpaw. "Like, say cheese!"

She found this incredibly funny, and began to laugh uncontrolably. "Get it!" she wheezed. "Like, say cheese, but like, his face is totally already covered in cheese! It, like, a pun!"

She laughed for a couple more moments, and then pranced off to the apprentices' den and her blog.

"Someone has to knock some sense into that girl," Brambleclaw mewed, shaking his head.

"I can do that," Sootfur replied steadily. The dark gray tom began to creep through the camp after Squirrelpaw, holding some small, round things that he chucked at the apprentices' den. "Pennies! Cents!" he announced.

Squirrelpaw came out, her paw on her head, where a large lump had formed. "Like, ow!"

Leafpaw was there in a flash. "Sootfur, it's 'sense' not 'cents'."

And then she was gone.

"Sootfur, save the pennies for later, we've got a patrol to be on!" Brambleclaw meowed hasitly.

"Fine," Sootfur grumbled, tucking the change away while Squirrelpaw huffed back into the apprentices' den.

Brambleclaw led the patrol through the gorse tunnel, and out into the forest.

It was early, but already the day was warm. Brambleclaw panted as the sun climbed higher into the sky, making him feel overheated and gave him a strange craving for crossiants.

Brightheart was carefully stalking a mouse, her good eye brimming with concentration. The rest of the patrol was scattered nearby. Whistling an innocent tune, Brambleclaw slipped away to the RiverClan border just past the gorge.

When the scent of RiverClan was strongest, Brambleclaw stopped to look around. WindClan was there for their tea party, and a small patrol of RiverClan cats watched carefully.

Brambleclaw spotted the silvery pelt of the cat he was looking for. Cautiously, he crept into hostile RiverClan territory. _If they catch me, I'll say that Squirrelpaw's selling Girl Scout cookies and I'm helping her out,_ Brambleclaw decided, thinking quickly. _I heard Mistyfoot loves the little lemon filled ones. _

He threw himself behind a bush just outside his border.

"PSST!" he hissed. "Feathertail!" He saw the silver tabby's ears perk, and she trotted towards him.

"What is it, Brambleclaw?" She asked him in a low voice, glancing around to make sure they were alone.

Brambleclaw told her all about his most recent dream, including the dancing cracker jack. He finished up by telling her what Ravenpaw had told him.

"I think we should meet the night after tomorrow and find the sundrown place," he told her. "Hopefully there will be crackerjacks there."

Feathertail was nodding. "I guess you're right. I'll have to tell Stormfur."

"Can you tell Crowpaw the gangsta while he's here about the plan?" He asked her. Feathertail looked thoughtful. "Sure. I'll tell him. This willl be tough, Brambleclaw. You know, the leaving and all. But we have to do it. See you the day after tomorrow, Brambleclaw."

"Feathertail wait!" Brambleclaw hissed after her, thinking quickly once more. "Do you know what 'fo shizzle means?"

Feathertail thought for a moment, then her eyes lit up. "It's this kind of French jelly," she meowed.

Brambleclaw decided that made sense. He gave Feathertail's ear a swift lick of farewell and then set off for ShadowClan territory.

"I don't know Brambleclaw...it sounds dangerous. And oh, StarClan, what if there isn't enough _food_?" Tawnypelt panicked. "What if I get..._hungry_?"

Brambleclaw tried very hard not to roll his eyes. He was in ShadowClan territory, explaining his plan to his sister. "You can eat twice as much when you get back," he bargained.

That got Tawnypelt's attention. "Eat twice as much..." she mumbled thoughtfully, and then her tail lifted. "Yeah! That'll be awesome! Let's go, Brambo! Hey, that rhymed!"

When she had finished laughing, she went on. "The Twolegs are eating up more territory then ever. And we need to know what StarClan wants us to do." She gave Brambleclaw a hearty nudge that almost knocked him off his paws.

"Okay, I'd better go. See you soon, Tawnypelt."

She blinked affectionately at him...or she was twitching, it was too hard to tell which.


	12. Chapter 10

**Sorry for the wait folks! I had pretty bad writers block and it took me fooorrrevvverrrr! So here yah go! Kinda longish. More leafpaw next chappy, I think. i have some pretty cool ideas for next chapter. I didnt send this one to dewfrost to edit, because it took so long to wait and i wanted to post it ASAP. do review!**

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Chapter 10. 

"Like, Brambleclaw! Pssstt! Like, Brambo!" Brambleclaw cursed silently as he padded back into camp at sunhigh the next day, his jaws full of fresh kill, when he heard Squirrelpaw hissing his name.

"Where are you?" He mumbled regretfully, not seeing the orange apprentice. "like,Right here you idiot," Squirrelpaw was crouched under a bush.

"Lookey, i totally know you know more about how i know that you know that you had a new dream recently.I saw you sneak off to talk to feathertail. What is like, going on."

"I am a brickwall," Brambleclaw murmered the phrase he had heard on a psyhcologist tape about keeping secrets.. Breathe in. Breathe out. "Your lies and intimidation will not get to me."

"Oh.. then maybe my friend Mr. Big Bird will!" Squirrelpaw hissed, throwing a large stuffed animal bird.

Brambleclaw squeaked. Not that big yellow bird with the big head. No! Anything but that!  
"I will not give in. I am a brickwall, darn it!"

"Heeerreess Elmo!" A flash of red flew past his ear

"I am a... i am a.."

"Like, Look! It's Bert and Ernie come to play!"

Ha! At least Ernie didn't have the-

"Like, Rubber Duckie!" The rubber duckie did him in. Ahh the squeakyness!

"Alright.. Alright.. I'll tell you. Just don't bring out the bird again!"

Squirrelpaw smirked. "I knew you'd see it my way. Now tell me about the dream."

Brambleclaw sighed, and told her about the dream, but not his plans to leave the next day.

Squirrelpaw looked thoughtfull. "That wasnt all you had to say is it?" Brambleclaw looked around.

"Why.. Why would you say that?"

"Elmo loves you!"

"I'm meeing the others tomorrow at Fourtrees." Brambleclaw yelped, before collapsing onto his side.

"Good.. very good. Now, like, recover!" Brambleclaw sat up reluctantly, and his eyes snapped open when her heard paw steps coming.

"What do we do?" Squirrelpaw hissed anxiosly. "Quick! Squrrelpaw put your paw like this.." Brambleclaw insturcted her.

The bushed parted. Firestar, flanked by Graystripe, eyed the two of them.

"Patty Cake Patty Cake bakers man..." Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw chided together, clapping their paws togther.

"Oh, Firestar!" Brambleclaw meowed in fake surprise. "We didn't see you coming!"

Firestars eyes flashed mysteriously. "Squirrelpaw, I don't want you spending time with non pie-liking wariors like Brambleclaw. It isn' right,"

Squirrelpaw looked appalled. Her jaw dropped in the way it did when she was feeling either evil or confused. Today it was the later.

"Like, Dad, whats wrong with you?" She asked. "You've been weird for hte past few days now!"

"I.. I have my reasons, alright? Cinderpelt has started a giant tooth pick statue and.."

"oh save it dad!" Squirrelpaw hissed, before racing away. Firestar barley cast a glance in brambleclaw's direction.

"Don't take it seriously, Bramble Buddy, he's just a little.. tense sense the Twolegs have started attacking. I'm sure you've noticed how close the claw marks are getting to ThunderClan territory.." Graystripe meowed, nudging Brambleclaws shoulder. The gray deputy thought for a moment. "or his sudden switch in pie diets i've had him on is getting to him," Brambleclaw smiled weakly at Graystire. The deputy shook his head before padding away.

But Brambleclaw did take it seriously. How dare Firestar say that? Brambleclaw loved snicker doodle pie! It wasn't his fault that Firestar always got the banana creame. Maybe Graystripe's new diet would involve snicker doodle, and then Brambleclaw could prove to firestar that he did like pie.

But that wasn't the only problem. Obviously Firestar didn't trust him anymore. Maybe a few more patrols and a fruit basket would change his mind.

Leafpaw POV!

"..and so, I've decided to start a class on proper english." Leafpaw finished. She was explaining her new idea on how to do her part in helping the forest to Squirrelpaw. She had started hte class to distract herself from all the terror and confusion ravaging her mind now that hte forst was changing. Setting up lesson plans was already calming he down.

" At first i was going to make it for just ThunderClan, but then i decided to spread my magic to all the forest! I'm even going to put out little cheese snacks!"

Squirrelpaw nodded. "That totally sounds like something you would do, Leafy dude." Squirrelpaw purred.

Leafpaw shuffled her paws. She didn't know exactly how she would ask Squirrelpaw to be in her class. She of all cats (next to maybe Cinderpelt) needed her teaching most. She opened her mouth:

"Squirrelpaw.. i was thinking.. maybe you would join my class. Just to.. you know supervise?"

Squirrelpaw looked at her. "Like, sis, i know you want me to be in the class. Just ask. I'll help promote your class.Who else is coming?"

Leafpaw wasn't one hundred percent sure on who would attend her classes to being with. She had put up the posters at Four Trees while gathering herbs...

"I'm not sure. We'll find out tonight!"

Squirrelpaw was padding off to the edge of ThunderClan territory, where Leafpaw had gotton a permit to hold her English classes. Or proper speaking.. whatever it was called.

She was late. She had wanted to leave with Leafpaw, but her sister had insisted that she couldnt. She had said she had to set up the class. Squirrelpaw was itching to get started, so she could leave and go torture Brambleclaw about what he was planning on doing.

"Squirrelpaw! Nice of you to join us! Take a seat!" Leafpaw mewed happily to her as she reached the clearing.

Squirrelpaw looked around. There was quite an assortment of members in Leafpaw's class. There was herself, Cinderpelt, chewing lazily on a piece of grass, talking to Cloudtail, who was there. There was also jumpy Reedpaw of RiverClan, who was known for not being able to get through a sentence without saying "that thinggy." There was.. Crowpaw! Crowpaw of Windclan! That rough gray apprentice had a bottle of spray paint, and was just finishing up some art. Lucky for him, it was on the ShadowClan side of the border. Squirrelpaw leaned in for a closer look. "cRoWpAww WAs hUr" she rolled her eyes and scooted as far away from him as she could get.

There was Ceaderheart of ShadowClan. Hey! Ravenpaw was there too! He was chatting amiably to Tawnypelt. Wait? Why was Tawnypelt there? Her english was fine.

"I'm just here for the free food." Tawnypelt explained when squirrelpaw asked.

"Class, lets get started!" Leafpaw called.

"Fo shizzle, ya knoaw. I only came to this hiz house cause that stiff Tornear made me."

"Crowpaw, we need a lot of work." Leafpaw muttered.

"Well, welcome to the class! And i wish you all good luck as we embark upon our journey. I am honored that you all graced me with your presense today. I promise to uphold my word of precise truthfullness and intergritey when i say i will teach you all that my months of training have..."

The speech and big words went on. It was going to be a long night.

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**muaha. lets see where this gets brambleclaw in understanding crowpaw's colorful vocabulary!**


	13. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I dont own Warriors(too lazy to come up with something clever)

Disclaimer2.I Do not own the Oscar Myer Weiner Song (though i used to sing it every day when i was 6 and i still do)

**Omg guys! sorry i took so long! it was hard to update with school and what not. Anyway, here's the newest chappy, which i wrote mostly in about 15 minutes or so. So pleeasee read & review. and sorry its so long!!**

Chapter 11.

Brambleclaw paced. That was all he could do. Pace.. Pace.. Pace.. He was supposed to leave on a dangerous jounrey tomorrow! How stupid could he get?! He was going to leave the saftey of his clan... leave his family... his cat nip.. maybe he'd even miss his fan club just a little. With Squirrelpaw gone to English class, he probably still ahd about two hours before Leafpaw finished her speech and taugh the students how to correctly pronounce "asparagus." And then after that Squirrelpaw would be back.. talking like she hadn't learned a thing.

Brambleclaw had to to something! But what.. He could go play tic tack toe with Sandstorm! No.. she always cheated. All he could do was pace. pace...pace..pace.. Suddenly, he was taking a path through the forest. Before he knew where his paws were taking him, Brambleclaw was within hearing range of Leafpaw's lesson.

"Asparagus. You see you really need to stress the 'aahhh' sound. Get it?" Leafpaw was saying. Bramblepaw crept a little closer. He could see the class all assembled around Leafpaw. Squirrelpaw, not shockingly, was in the back of the class next to little Reedpaw of RiverClan. Squirrelpaw had a pen in her jaws, and she was scribbling. WIth his keen cat eyes, Brambleclaw could see that Reedpaw was laughing unkindly as Squirrelpaw drew an unflattering picture of Cloudtail. What was that hanging from his nose!? Brambleclaw shivered.

"..Crowpaw! You certaintly are my student of the night, you were the first one to pronounce "Green Beans" completley flawless!" Brambleclaw's eyes screwed up in surprise. There at hte head of the class was Crowpaw, looking nearly ready to burst with pride.

"It was nothing, chicky." Crowpaw meowed. He really was making progress! He had said "nothing" instead of just "nuttin"

Brambleclaw was calming down now. He turned around, and trotted slowly back to camp. It was growing late; the sun was already sinking beneath the mountains, casting its soft light over the forest. At camp, most of the clan were asleep already. Peeking into the warriors den, he saw Brakenfur cuddled up next to his stuffed rabbit, Humpfree. Maybe that was why he couldn't get Sorreltail to like him.

He sat awake, having a strangely quiet night. He watched the moon rise into the sky.. and then he got a craving for granola and peanut butter.

Just when the moon was at its highest, the trampleing of dead leaves and twigs and the smell of cheese told Brambleclaw that the cats were returning from the proper speaking classes. They came through the gorse tunnel, looking tired. Except for Leafpaw, who looked as though she could do 20 laps around the forest... but what was that anxious look?

Squirrelpaw saw him and came towards him, while the rest went for hte warriors den or the split rock. She swung far around, avoiding her father's den hugely.

When Squirrelpaw got close enough, she smiled. "Brambo! I like, thought I'd never get out of that class! When are we gunna bust out!?" She asked.

"Didn't Leafpaw teach you to talk better?" Brambleclaw scolded. Squirrelpaw shrugged.

"She like, basically focused on just the disgusting vegetables. If you totally wanted me to, i could say green beans perfectly in a sentence! Like, without even saying dude!"

Brambleclaw nodded, deciding to save that treat for later and ask her to talk useing "green bean" as much as she could.

"I.. I was thinking we should leave now. " Brambleclaw spit out. "Then we'll be there on time.' Squirrelpaw had never looked so excited in her life.

"Let me go pack!" She squeaked, racing to her den. But.. she didnt go to the apprentice den. She stopped at a certain spot in the dirt, wrote something in the mud, and suddenly she saluted him and was lowered under the ground. Brambleclaw's eyebrows raised and his jaw twisted.

She came back up a few moments later, with the biggest suitcase Brambleclaw had ever seen.

"Look it's totally just my Ipod, my Laptop, my cable motum, my printer, my favorite casmier sweater, my cell phone, my address book.."

Brambleclaw couldn't believe her! "Squirrelpaw you can't take all that stuff!" He hissed exhasperatedly.

Squirrelpaw looked like she would have taken pleasure in threathening ot write something mean about him in her blog, but Brambleclaw knew she as anxious to get going as he was.

"Fine. I'll only take the cell phone aand hte laptop."

"Squirrelpaw!"

"..like, just the Ipod and the cell?"

Brambleclaw rolled his eyes. Whatever. As long as it kept her quiet.

By now the moon was at its highest point in the sky. Brambleclaw was sure everyone was asleep now. The two cats crept out of the camp.

"Brambleclaw.. it's like... kinda scary out here!" Squirrelpaw meowed nerveously.

"You're not.. _scared.. _are yah?" Brambleclaw smirked.

"Totally not! Me, like scared? No way.."

A twig snapped in the night.

"What was that?!"

"Someone being murdered, watch out Squirrelpaw here they come for you!"

Squirrelpaw screeched, cannoning off into the forest. Brambleclaw was thankful they were far enough away from camp that no one would have heard that.

Brambleclaw ran to catch up with Squirrelpaw. Brambleclaw hadn't noticed the chill in the air untill he was running swiftly. By the time he did catch up, they were already nearing Fourtrees, and brambleclaw thought his ears were freezing off.

"Braaammblleeyy! All that running and screaming in fear made me ttiredd!! Let's find somewhere to sleep,"

Brambleclaw nodded, they could sleep till the sun came up and then meet the others at Fourtrees. He saw a big twoleg monster, but it was so long!

"Like, what do you reckon that crazy contraption thing is, Brambleclaw?" Asked Squirrelpaw, voicing his own thoughts. "it has like, 8 paws!"

Brambleclaw shurgged. "I dont know. But hey! they back's open, lets go sleep in there where its warm." Squirrelpaw nodded.

They leaped into the back of the monster. "Are... are you sure this was like.. a good idea dude?" Squirrelpaw asked, her voice trembling.

"Yeah, sure." Brambleclaw replied indifferently. Then, feeling a strange surge of affection; "I wouldn't make you do something dangerous."

Squirrelpaw smiled, and Brambleclaw almost died. It was a real smile! not even an evil one!

"Oh my gosh..packing peanuts!! We're totally in a monster full of packing peanuts!!!" She yowled in delight, hopping around in them. And just like that, the moment was over.

"I need to call all my friends!" She gasped. "Reedpaw and Leafpaw first, they're on speed dial!"

And before Brambleclaw could stop her, she was on the phone. And Brambleclaw knew that you were to never, NEVER interrupt a lady when she's on the phone. He sat and waited.

"Hey reedpaw! Come over to the twoleg monster! Bring everyone!!"

She hung up. "yay! now to leafpaw !"

"Squirrelpaw you IDIOT!!!!!!!!"Brambleclaw caterwualed. "They can't know we're here! now w ehave to go to that monster over there!!"

Squirrelpaw laughed and jumped out of the monster, reluctantly leaving her packing peanuts.

"Look," Brambleclaw said. "A monster shaped like a hot dog! we can sleep peacefully here!"

Squirrelpaw looked at him incrediously. "Dont you know what this is?!" She screeched. At his blank look, she continued.

"Heeelloo! Like, the Oscar myer weiner monster!!!" And then she began to sing"

"Oh I wish i was an oscar myer Weiner!"

"That is what I'd truely like to be!"

"Oh i wish i was an oscar myer weiner!"

"Then everyone would be in love with meee!!!!!!" The last note was enough to break glass.

She picked up her phone again. "Mothwing!!!! I found the Oscar Myer weiner monster! You've gotta get everyone over and see!!!"

Brambleclaw wanted to hit her. He raised his paw to do so. Squirrelpaw smirked.

"Didn't your mommy ever tell you not to hit a giirrl?"

Brambleclaw stopped in mid-punch.

"Mommy.." He murmered, thinking of Goldenflower. He would never forget that day when his mom had first taught him manners. And he could still hear her and her motivational saying:

"Brambleclaw! You better not be trying to bury Tawnykit alive again!"

Yes... his mother loved him.

"No.." He muttered at last to Squirrelpaw.

But come on! We can't let anyone see us!" And so they had to trot all the way down the thunderpath, until they came to the last monster in the line.

"See.. a boring.. plain...white truck. Nothing to possibly call your friends for," Brambleclaw said. He could already hear the sounds of Reedpaw and company trampling through the forest. Good thing they were far enough away.

"Are you like, kidding! They can come over and we'll paint the monster so it's not boring anymore!" She picked up her phone to dial another number.

Forgetting all of his mother's sayings, Brambleclaw leaped, and pushed the phone out of her paws. It slid into the leaves, and then a rabbit came by and took it. Brambleclaw was sure he saw Squirrelpaw's eye twitching.

"Brambleclaw.. you're aware that that was the only tye-dye razor to ever have been made.. right?"

"Sorrry..."

"We'll talk about it in the morning. I am going to dream that i beat you up in the night, and if you're lucky I'll assume it was real and not really beat you up tomorrow.

"Ugh.. lets go to sleep now!" Brambleclaw said, climbing through yet the third pair of open doors. As Squirrelpaw settled down beside him. He felt his fur twinge as she curled up.

Tomorrow, he'd probably be beat up for losing the only tye-dye razor ever made. And at the funeral Tawnypelt would probably step on him... and to top it all off.. there'd be bad cheese at the after party.

And if none of that happened, he would still have to go on a long and dangerous journey without crackerjacks, with only StarClan's dreams to guide him.


	14. Chapter 12

**disclaimer-this is getting ol

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d. in the words of crowpaw: Warriors is a fresh series of gangsta hott books written by Erin Hunter, fool.**

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SORRY! for the long wait. school is like a creativity-suker-outer for me. stupid midterms and whatnot. RAWR! well, read and try to enjoy please!

Chapter12.

Brambleclaw felt himself being shaken awake. The floor beneath him quiverred. "EARTHQUAKE!" Brambleclaw screeched leaping to his paws. In the process, he bumped into another set of paws. Large paws.

"That's no earthquake," Squirrelpaw snorted. "It's like, Tawnypelt, dumbbutt."

Oh.

"Right then. Brambleclaw looked around. "Well wait a moment. The stars are still up, why arent we still sleeping?" He grunted.

"Cause Stoney said he wants to leave the hizz-house by sunhigh." Said a new voice.

"Who's house?"

"No one's, fool. Just the hizz house."

"But you said we're leaving his house, so we must be leaving somebody's house.

"It's street slang, bramble bizz."

Bramleclaw hoped no one had seen that.

"Crowpaw, i really can't handle your bad grammar right now." Brambleclaw grumbled. All the same, he made a mental note to look up "hizz-house," and pulled out his portable dictionary.

His thoughts were interrupted by Squirrelpaw yelping, "Leafpaw!"

**Leafpaw's point of view.**

"Squirrelpaw! What ever are you doing here?!" She asked. Leafpaw's sleep had been disturbed not only by and evil dream from StarClan, but also by a dream of catnip, dancing just out of reach. And then there was the dream she had about Squirrelpaw.

"I had a dream! I saw you.. you're here. Where are you going?! Why didn't you tell Firestar! Why is the grass green? And what is brambleclaw doing with a dictionary!?!"

Leafpaw winced at her sister's bewilderment.

"Look sissy," Squirrelpaw started softly. "Brambleclaw had a dream about saving the forest. We have to go to the sun-drown place to help. The dream wasn't sent to me, but I feel like i jut have to go! I just have to!"

Leafpaw gasped. Half of it was because of the whole prophecy, Brambleclaw saving the world thing, but the other half was because Squirrelpaw had said a whole sentence, TWO sentences actually, without saying 'like' or 'dude' or even her favorite, 'totally!' "

She nuzzled her sister. "I guess I can't convince you not to go?" She asked, her voice laden with sadness.

Squirrelpaw smiled faintly. "Like.. im sorry.. but no."

"Not even if I told you that we're going to have two english classes a week now?"

The smile took a turn downwards, and now it was more of a grimace. "sis," Squirrelpaw started in a carefully controlled voice. "This is like, totally a tender moment, don't ruin it with grammar."

"Right. okay."

Brambleclaw joined the pair. "Leafpaw! you can't tell ANYONE where we're going. I suspect we'll be back in a quarter moon or so. When Firestar wakes up tomorrow looking for us, you need to promise you wont say anything to him."

Leafpaw held his gaze steadily. "I promise." Se said.

"Kitty Scouts honor?" he prompted.

"Kitty Scouts honor." She agreed.

Leafpaw turned to Squirrelpaw.

"Now don't forget! Burdock root for rat bites, food if your hungry, poppyseeds for pain, grass for nightmares of killer mice, and marigold for other stuff." Leafpaw reeled off. She wanted Squirrelpaw to at least know how to treat the most common ailments.

Leafpaw watched in amazement as Feathertail, Stormfur, Tawnypelt, and Crowpaw came up beside her clanmates.

"Did you all have the dream too?" She breathed.

"You said it, chicky," Crowpaw chided. Leafpaw opened her mouth to correct Crowpaw on his speech, but she decided that now was not the time and didn't say anything.

"Leafpaw," Stormfur greeted her, dipping his head. "We really should be going, the sun will be coming up and I want to get a move on." he said.

"Hey, Sprinklepaws, chiill man. We got tiimmee." Crowpaw drawled.

Stormfur looked at him incrediously. "That's Mr. Sprinklepaws to you, buster." he growled.

"I'm sorry to leave you like this, Leafpaw. But Mr. Sprinkelp- I mean Stormfur is right. We really need to be going." Feathertail cut in, her voice thin and delicate.

"I just want food." Tawnypelt meowed dreamily.

Everyone looked at eachother. A hungry Tawnypelt was a dangerous Tawnypelt.

Each member of the little patrol touched noses with Leafpaw in turn. With the exception of Tawnypelt, who more like bashed into her snout.

"I'll come back," Squirrelpaw whispered. "I totally promise."

Leafpaw watched painfully as the group of mis-matched cats padded away from her, with Squirrelpaw looking back over her shoulder to twitch her whiskers at her sister.

The sky was climbing slowly over the trees when Leafpaw set off for camp. But just as she began to pad back into the forest, a voice called her back.

"Leafpaw!"

The medicine cat apprentice turned around abruptly, surprised to see Brambleclaw standing in the grass.

"Drop this off at Firestar's den, when you get a chance, will you?" He asked her, placing at her paws a large package.

Leafpaw nodded and she and Brambleclaw touched noses, before he leaped back to join his friends.

Leafpaw nosed throguh the package, well it was more like a basket. Her whiskers twitched when she recognized and assortment of many different kinds of pies. She noticed a card, and on it was written;

"To Firestar. From a warrior who loves pie almost as much as you do."

Her face burried in a deep frown, Leafpaw picked up the basket and set for home, wondering what would happen when the clan awoke, and how she would go through days without Squirrelpaw. And the insanity of Firestar's excitement when he saw the pie basket.


	15. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer-warriors aren't mine... or i'd make it a bit different.**

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arrgh! I've been so hopeless lately. i havnt written in so long i think i got stupider. I was feeling so **pathetic that i forced myself to write... so its a little.. well pathetic. but thanks to you guys who reviwed asking me to write cause it actually helpe.**

**GOODNES! idid anyone read the sight?! how crazy was that?! what do you think bout jaypaw, hollypaw, and lionpaw?? I dont trust Jaypaw that much.. oh and then there's that event that i will not mention for fear of spoiling but that makes me JUMP UP AND DOWN! YAAAYY!!!**

**okay... ill stop here. read please)**

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Chapter 13. 

"Surely you've seen Squirrelpaw this morning?" Sandstorm asked, entering Cinderpelts den. Leafpaw watched as her mentor shook her head. "Garsh, I reckeon I havn't seen that cowboy since yesterday." Cinderpelt mewed with that southern drawl of hers. Sandstorm turned to her daughter.

"Leafpaw? Have _you_ seen your sister?" Leafpaw struggled against the urge to blurt out the truth; That Squirrelpaw had left the clan to go chill with a ganster from WindClan, a gray duo from RiverClan, and Brambleclaw, the cat she had always had the most to complain about. Oh, and Tawnypelt. Maybe with her gone the destruction of the forest would slow down.. because despite the evidence of Twoleg monsters tearing the clan's beloved home, no one had ruled out Tawnypaw's stomach complelty.

"No. Not me. I havn't seen Squirrelpaw! What's a Squirrelpaw? There never was any Squirrelpaw! Squirrelpaw is just a myth!" Leafpaw burst.

Sandstorm raised an inquring eyebrow at her daughter. She turned to Cinderpelt, still glancing sideways at Leafpaw.

"I think you need to run a check up on her," The ginger she-cat muttered to the medicine cat. Cinderpelt nodded and chewed on some grass.

"Well, I need to go tutor Firestar in algerbra 2. You know, for a cat whos saved to forest a couple of times, you'd think it wouldnt be that hard to understanr A-squared plus B-squaredC-squared... I'm off!

"Im'a go rope me some burdock root. They're wild this season!" Cinderpelt meowed. "You a'comin Leafo?" Leafpaw shook her head.

"I'm just going to stay here and.. barbeque." She murmered. Sandstorm's ears flattened as she trotted away, but Cinderpelt hadn't stuck around to hear her answer, as she had already turned and galloped away.

_What's gotten into me lately!? _Leafpaw scolded herself. _Barbecue!?_ What kind of mediocre excuse was that? Hmph. With Cinderpelt gone, and with no Squirrelpaw chirping the latest gossip and ways to further privatly embarrass and/or publicly humiliate others, the only thing to do was to go plan some more English lessons. It was the only way she could keep her mind of the danger that her sister was in. _Oh I only hope Tawnypelt hasn't squished her! _She fretted. Leafpaw shook her head to clear it before working out some new worksheets on the pronunciation of the different classifications of trees.

"67 bottles of beer on the wall! 67 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, 66 bottles of beer on the wall!" After the first half day of the journey, a rousing round of "Old McDonald" and two times around of "BINGO" Brambleclaw felt like banging his head- hard- against the nearest tree. Squirrelpaw had managed to befriend Tawnypelt, and the two had been going on and on since dawn.

"...take one down pass it around! 65 bottes of beer on the wall!" Brambleclaw gazed around in search of a tree. Preferably a big one with really hard bark. That's when it hit him. There were no trees!

"Stormfur!" He beckoned to the gray RiverClan warrior. "There's no trees here!" He hissed. Stormfur nodded as he ran.

"I noticed." He panted. The easy-going tom opened his mouth for more comment, when it turned into a jaw drop, simmiliar to Squirrelpaw's trait when she was feeling confused.. or evil. But yes, Stormfur's jaw dropped and his eyes grew wide. Brambleclaw whipped his head around to see what was the matter.

"Great Scott." Feathertail breathed, ecohing Brambleclaw's thoughts exactly(but in a more.. Brittish kinda way) Ahead of them, in what would have been the forest to turn off and start on the path to the Moonstone, every tree had been torn down; not one was standing. Beyond that lay a thunderpath that seemed to go on and on, like Squirrelpaw and Tawnypelt's singing, and a little ways after that there were trees and brush again.

"..They've killed everything." Squirrelpaw whispered. Brambleclaw was shocked;she had sounded humbeled for a second there!

Brambleclaw took a deep breath inward. He gathered the small party of cats, noticing how the clan boundaries had seemed to dissolve as the journeying cats made their way to the Sundrown place to save their friends.Then Crowpaw had to ruin it.

"You kitties can't party like the gangstas in WindClan." He muttered. Squirrelpaw whipped her head around to glare at him.

"Well you have an ugly face." She retorted. Tawnypelt snorted in laughter.

"That wasn't even funny Tawnypelt." Stormfur meowed.

"I like to laugh, gotta problem?"She asked, stepping up in Stormfur's face.No litterally, stepping on his face.

Stormfur stepped down a little bit.

"Nope actually I don't. I think I'll go listen to Brambleclaw... over there. " He scooted to the left.

"Guys!" Brambleclaw yowled for their attention. "If you're quite finished, we have to pass this Thunderpath coming up."

"We could fly." Squirrelpaw suggested. Everyone ignored her.

Feathertail spoke up. "The monsters are traveling so fast, it'd be a miracle if we all crossed one by one before sundown!"

The group spent some time bickering over the most logical ways to cross. They eventaually decided against Squirrelpaw's idea of attempting to dig a hole under the Thunderpath and tunnel under like moles, and the most logical Crowpaw's idea of hitching a ride on one of the monsters. Just as Stormfur and Feathertail agonized over the correct angle at which they should jump to reach the monster's back, Tawnypelt, who had been silent since the begining of the debate, spoke.

"I've got an idea!" she declared.

15 minutes later, Brambleclaw, Squirrelpaw, and Stormfur were perched on Tawnypelt's right front paw; Feathertail and Crowpaw crouched on the other. Tawnypelt approached the Thunderpath, the monsters running across at high speeds.

"Why did we decide on this!?" Someone exclaimed. Tawnypelt prepared to step.

"StarClan," Brambleclaw murmered, quoting something from some movie he'd seen a while ago. "Save the queen."

"Firestar!" Graystripe called into his leader's den. Firestar emerged from the den, looking confused.

"You okay buddy?" Graystripe asked in concern. "You don't look so good."

"Pythagorean therum!" He gasped suddenly.

Graystripe nodded, understanding. Poor Firestar. Sure, Graystripe had grasped algebra 2 within the first minutes he had picked up the math book, but Firestar held strengths in other areas. Like saving the world and memorizing scripts to Shakespear.

"Let's go Firestar, Dustpelt said he wanted to see us in the clearing." Graystripe meowed. Dustpelt had come to him a few minutes ago and told him he had made a major break through.

Firestar padded off in the direction of the clearing.

"Bush!" Graystripe yowled. Firestar plowed right through the thorns.

Shaking his head, Graystripe ran to catch up with his friend.

"What was that you were saying before, Graystripe?"

"..nevermind Firestar."

The pair waited for Dustpelt to meet them in the clearing.

Instead, Whitepaw rushed out too greet them.

"Introduuuccinngg," The white apprentice started in circus ring-leader like voice. "Dustpelt and the Boys!"

The night was filled with the sound of revving, not unlike the noise of a monster on the Thunderpath. Graystripe watched incrediously and small mechanical monsters crashed into the clearing.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Firestar yowled. He hit a tree. It was quiet again.

Graystripe turned his attention back to the destruction of the clearing. To his surprise, Dustpelt was at the wheel of the mini-monster in the lead. Behind him was Brackenfur, Spiderpaw, Cloudtail, Ashfur, Sootfur, and Rainwhisker. The weird thing was, they were all in the mini monsters! Not just any mini monsters! Pink ones!

"We raided the twoleg town!" Dustpelt announced, leaping out of his impliment of destruction. Firestar was finally coming-to.

Graystripe took initiative as deputy and asked.

"What.. are they supposed to do?"

Dustpelt gave him a look that basically called him a moron, and how could he not know how the screaming metal death traps could possibly help the clans.

"Cloudtail can read, and he said that these monsters are called Barbie Jeeps!!!" Sootfur exploaded.

"And obviously, we use them to fight off the twolegs destroying the forest! Fight fire with fire! Our 'jeeps' against their whatcha-ma-hoozit monster beasts!" Dustpelt explained.

Graystripe measured pros and cons in his head.

"We've got one for you." Rainwhisker meowed slyly.

"Sounds reasonable! Let's do it!" Graystripe decided swiftly.

"Boys, let's show Graystripe to his part of the Save-the-forest-using-twoleg-contraptions committee!" Dustpelt yowled.

The group shot off, Graystripe trailing behind.

Firestar finally heaved himself up onto his paws.

_Whatever happened to respect for your leader?_ Firestar thought, shaking his head.

"I'll be there.. in a minute!" He called. "Or two.." He muttered under his breath.

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welp.. there. i tried


End file.
